“What if we have a girl?” I can imagine my mom asking my dad in their one-room apartment with cardboard boxes stacked high along the walls. She was seven months pregnant with me and in the middle of the moving process before they seriously discussed the genetic possibilities of a female child. They had already chosen the name Benjamin Wayne Yost and had consistently called me “Benjamin” for several months of the pregnancy.
My parents at least agreed that they favored virtuous names.
“Honey, what do you think about the name Charity? That’s the main character in this book.”
A romance novel with a questionable cover dangled from my mother’s hand. Thoughts raced through Daddy’s mind that this name might not be as virtuous as he hoped if it was inspired by the paperback book she was holding. Beneath dark brows, his hazel eyes showed disapproval.
“The girl in the book is a strong character! She’s what we’d want our daughter to be – mature, caring, level-headed, smart…. She even has brown hair and eyes. It’s a sign!” my mom concluded, nodding and grinning.
She lifted herself and the cumbersome weight of pregnancy up from the mid-eighties, golden-upholstered couch and reached for the King James Version Bible on the coffee table. The leather cover was badly wrinkled from a careless mishap with scalding hot coffee. The pages were folded and wrinkled. Still, the Scripture held more cherished highlights and scribbles than the romance novel in her other hand.
“I’m telling you, it means good things,” my mom continued while Daddy contemplated in silence, glancing over the top of his issue of Georgia Outdoor World magazine.
Mama flipped through her Bible’s thin pages to First Corinthians 13 and began to read about the true virtue of charity. Daddy’s forehead lost its doubt wrinkles when she read phrases like “doth not behave itself unseemingly” and “thinketh no evil.”
The wrinkles on his forehead smoothed as fears about the woman on the other cover began to disappear, and the image of a well-behaved little girl emerged.
“And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity,” Mama ended the chapter.
“Charity,” he said, trying the word out for sound. “Charity…. Hmph… I like that.” Conversation halted in a happy pause of silent agreement.
Marie seemed to be the obvious choice for a middle name. It was made popular in my mom’s family by Gladys Marie Sherrill, my spry great-grandmother, who danced around the house, singing and twirling her skirts while dinner was cooking. My mom’s eccentric sister Cindi also shared a variation of the name. “Cynthia Maria Weaver” was typed on her birth certificate by accident though my grandmother had originally chosen Cynthia Marie. My mother might have been trying to redeem that mistake, or she might have simply enjoyed the dramatic stories her older sister told when they were children.
“Charity Marie Yost,” they said in unison. Adding the German surname made it complete. After seven months, they were finally satisfied.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
11 Numbers and Rightful Wrath
For several years, I have been trying to read the whole Bible. After reading each chapter, I check it off a list at the back of my Bible. The New Testament is completely checked, but the Old Testament is a struggle for me. I usually read a chapter at a time, but today, I read five. The words were so interesting to me, mostly because I prayed before I began reading and asked the Lord to make them that way.
I'm reading in Numbers right now, where the Israelites (about 600, 000 people) are living in the desert under the leadership of Moses. Most of Moses' time is spent listening to the Lord and conveying those messages to the people.
All along, God sets this cloud of fire over the people. When it moves, they move. They camp wherever it stops. God is feeding them, showing them His glory through a protective cloud, and speaking to them through Moses. How cool is that?
But, in Numbers 11, the people are complaining about some difficulties they are having. God hears their whining and gets so angry that He lets his fire "consume some of the outskirts of the camp" (Num. 11:1). Moses asks for mercy for the people, and the Lord stops the burnings.
The Lord faithfully supplies their needs, sending down "manna" from the sky. Can you imagine bread falling from the sky? Numbers 11:9 says "When the dew settled on the camp at night, the manna also came down." It's like a free food pantry. It also "tasted like something made with olive oil" (Num. 11:8). This brings back the delicious memories of when I was in Italy, and they brought out bread with a dish of olive oil. You might think of the Olive Garden. I may be way off on my picture what manna actually is, but the Bible is surprisingly descriptive about this food and how the people creatively cook it.
But, the embers of the Lord's wrathful fire are probably still smoking when the people begin complaining again! They are craving meat with manna. The Israelites remind me of that one person who stands in the singeing sun with other people and states the obvious, "It's hot." They remind me of that person at the restaurant who is never satisfied with anything the waitress or waiter brings from the kitchen. What is even more frustrating is that they remind me of myself when I complain about things I just need to toughen up and get done (prime example : school work). I forget even New Testament commands to "Do everything without complaining or arguing" (Philippians 2:14).
With this, "the Lord became exceedingly angry" (Num. 11:10), and Moses felt extremely burdened as the middle man. This is where God's grace comes into play. He sends not one, not a few, but 70 men to help Moses carry the burden of the people.
As for the complaining people, however, the Lord gives them what they want. But this is His tone, "The Lord will give you meat, and you will eat it. . . for a whole month -- until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it -- because you have rejected the Lord, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying 'Why did we ever leave Egypt?'" (Num. 18-20).
Moses argues that the people are completely unsatisfiable and even this will not be enough for them. God's reply is my favorite part of this passage.
"Is the Lord's arm too short? You will now see whether or not what I say will come true for you" (Num. 11:23).
So many times, I treat my Creator as if He were incapable of meeting my needs.
God sent meat in the form of quail by a wind that blew them from the sea. They were "all around the camp to about three feet above the ground, as far as a day's walk in any direction" (Num. 11:31). My Creator is capable.
But the Lord was also angry with the unrepentant and unthankful people. He spread a plague and let down his fire again because they craved other food instead of being appreciative and content. That place was called Kibroth Hattaavah which actually means "graves of craving."
I am finding out through the Old Testament that God can get very angry. I have not seen this side of my God very often in my life, so it sometimes surprises me. I find this to be God's scary side. People don't want to think of the Lord as scary. They want to think of Him as kind, gentle, soothing, compassionate, understanding, etc. He is all those things. But He can also be scary. That's how awesome He is. I'm glad that my God can be both comforter and protector. Not only does he provide for me physically and emotionally, but He's also like that guy you want on your side in a fight. He's strong and powerful, but He fights fairly.
Anger and wrath. Grace and provision. So much to learn and comprehend. So much to admire.
I'm reading in Numbers right now, where the Israelites (about 600, 000 people) are living in the desert under the leadership of Moses. Most of Moses' time is spent listening to the Lord and conveying those messages to the people.
All along, God sets this cloud of fire over the people. When it moves, they move. They camp wherever it stops. God is feeding them, showing them His glory through a protective cloud, and speaking to them through Moses. How cool is that?
But, in Numbers 11, the people are complaining about some difficulties they are having. God hears their whining and gets so angry that He lets his fire "consume some of the outskirts of the camp" (Num. 11:1). Moses asks for mercy for the people, and the Lord stops the burnings.
The Lord faithfully supplies their needs, sending down "manna" from the sky. Can you imagine bread falling from the sky? Numbers 11:9 says "When the dew settled on the camp at night, the manna also came down." It's like a free food pantry. It also "tasted like something made with olive oil" (Num. 11:8). This brings back the delicious memories of when I was in Italy, and they brought out bread with a dish of olive oil. You might think of the Olive Garden. I may be way off on my picture what manna actually is, but the Bible is surprisingly descriptive about this food and how the people creatively cook it.
But, the embers of the Lord's wrathful fire are probably still smoking when the people begin complaining again! They are craving meat with manna. The Israelites remind me of that one person who stands in the singeing sun with other people and states the obvious, "It's hot." They remind me of that person at the restaurant who is never satisfied with anything the waitress or waiter brings from the kitchen. What is even more frustrating is that they remind me of myself when I complain about things I just need to toughen up and get done (prime example : school work). I forget even New Testament commands to "Do everything without complaining or arguing" (Philippians 2:14).
With this, "the Lord became exceedingly angry" (Num. 11:10), and Moses felt extremely burdened as the middle man. This is where God's grace comes into play. He sends not one, not a few, but 70 men to help Moses carry the burden of the people.
As for the complaining people, however, the Lord gives them what they want. But this is His tone, "The Lord will give you meat, and you will eat it. . . for a whole month -- until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it -- because you have rejected the Lord, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying 'Why did we ever leave Egypt?'" (Num. 18-20).
Moses argues that the people are completely unsatisfiable and even this will not be enough for them. God's reply is my favorite part of this passage.
"Is the Lord's arm too short? You will now see whether or not what I say will come true for you" (Num. 11:23).
So many times, I treat my Creator as if He were incapable of meeting my needs.
God sent meat in the form of quail by a wind that blew them from the sea. They were "all around the camp to about three feet above the ground, as far as a day's walk in any direction" (Num. 11:31). My Creator is capable.
But the Lord was also angry with the unrepentant and unthankful people. He spread a plague and let down his fire again because they craved other food instead of being appreciative and content. That place was called Kibroth Hattaavah which actually means "graves of craving."
I am finding out through the Old Testament that God can get very angry. I have not seen this side of my God very often in my life, so it sometimes surprises me. I find this to be God's scary side. People don't want to think of the Lord as scary. They want to think of Him as kind, gentle, soothing, compassionate, understanding, etc. He is all those things. But He can also be scary. That's how awesome He is. I'm glad that my God can be both comforter and protector. Not only does he provide for me physically and emotionally, but He's also like that guy you want on your side in a fight. He's strong and powerful, but He fights fairly.
Anger and wrath. Grace and provision. So much to learn and comprehend. So much to admire.
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