"I am making everything new!... Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
Revelation 21:5
School is BACK! New black ink pens, smooth notebook paper, wiry notebooks and paper clips, funny professors, roomates, and even new dorm decor! I am such a geek!... And proud of it.
Yesterday began my first full week of classes, but only the third week that I’ve been back in SC. With all the transitions, it has been difficult to keep my blog in mind, but the themes God keeps highlighting in my life.
Just before school began, I had minor plastic surgery to slightly straighten my nose. Watching it heal, I realized that very little had changed physically, yet it made a great difference in my facial features.
In the same way, I was so excited about starting this semester because I knew it would be amazing. When I arrived on campus, not very many things had been drastically changed, but still, it made a noticible transformation.
As I contemplated the impact of small alterations, I realized that God works similarly. Sometimes believers make drastic changes in lifestyle, and social areas in order to follow God’s will, such as leaving a secure career to plant a church in another city. Sometimes these faith-trying, earth-shaking changes are necessary to complete the Savior’s willful commands.
It seemed like my life was unique and cliche, yet obvious and unexpected. This may sound like a double oxymoron, but sometimes God just makes the expected explode so enormously that, though it was expected, the extent of it was not!
But often, the change God has in mind is not as elaborate as we expect, yet still better than we ever could have imagined for ourselves.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
I've Always Loved Surprises!
It has been a very long, very exhausting day. With moving into my dorm and standing in lines for keys and student IDs, etc. and ofcourse, the same emotional back-of-my-mind struggles I've been trying to overcome for three weeks, my body, mind, soul, and spirit were just praying to stick together for another 24 hours.
And then, a surprise.
NGU hosted Steve Fee in concert tonight.
(For those of you who don't know, over the summer I have come to love Steve Fee's worship music.)
Don't you love it when God surprises you?
And then, a surprise.
NGU hosted Steve Fee in concert tonight.
(For those of you who don't know, over the summer I have come to love Steve Fee's worship music.)
Don't you love it when God surprises you?
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Blessed Momentum
For the past two and a half months, I have woken up at 4am every Sunday, driven over half an hour to church, and worked from the time we set up until the time we tore down around two or three that afternoon.
This morning, I woke up at eight o'clock, had spare time to get ready, drove five minutes to church, said hello to the people I hadn't seen in a while, sat in a padded seat for an hour, then drove five minutes back home, in time for lunch.
It seemed like disillusionment. My perspective of the Church had changed so much over the summer that it was difficult to envision what it was like before the revolution. And I didn't want to think about my previous views. I wanted to take what I had learned from Elevation and apply it to every possible area of my life. I took a page of notes from the pastor's sermon this morning, but I took just as many notes on the thoughts running through my mind on how the church in which I sat could be improved. Call it critical, or call it constructive. Either way, my mind is bustling with energetic ideas and new found willingness to make better and accomplish whatever Christ sets before me, and I will take ultimate advantage of that blessed momentum.
Just like I told a friend today online, "Life is SUPPOSED to get better and better as we grow and learn! This part of my life is THAT!"
This morning, I woke up at eight o'clock, had spare time to get ready, drove five minutes to church, said hello to the people I hadn't seen in a while, sat in a padded seat for an hour, then drove five minutes back home, in time for lunch.
It seemed like disillusionment. My perspective of the Church had changed so much over the summer that it was difficult to envision what it was like before the revolution. And I didn't want to think about my previous views. I wanted to take what I had learned from Elevation and apply it to every possible area of my life. I took a page of notes from the pastor's sermon this morning, but I took just as many notes on the thoughts running through my mind on how the church in which I sat could be improved. Call it critical, or call it constructive. Either way, my mind is bustling with energetic ideas and new found willingness to make better and accomplish whatever Christ sets before me, and I will take ultimate advantage of that blessed momentum.
Just like I told a friend today online, "Life is SUPPOSED to get better and better as we grow and learn! This part of my life is THAT!"
Saturday, August 11, 2007
This Is Punishment
The reminders of yesterday have been so difficult today. I want to pour my feelings into this blog uniquely and to my full potential, but I think it would make me feel worse tonight. So, I'll post more lyrics by other artists, because sometimes my own creativity is too painful to regurgitate to others.
I thought that this was supposed to feel good.
And if you were really mine,
I guess it would.
I didn't fall in love
'Cause it was the right thing to do.
I just went ahead and fell for you....
Truth is your heart was never mine to take
Now I'm stuck in a feeling
That I'll never shake
I prayed for it to go
God knows I want it to stay
But here I am loving you either way.
Oh, somewhere down along the line
I guess that love became a crime
This contradiction makes no sense.
This is punishment.
I feel like this is judgement day
I'll raise my hands, stand up and say
I don't believe I'm innocent
This is punishment.
You'll never feel all the things I can't say
And I'll never know if it's better this way.
-SheDaisy
I thought that this was supposed to feel good.
And if you were really mine,
I guess it would.
I didn't fall in love
'Cause it was the right thing to do.
I just went ahead and fell for you....
Truth is your heart was never mine to take
Now I'm stuck in a feeling
That I'll never shake
I prayed for it to go
God knows I want it to stay
But here I am loving you either way.
Oh, somewhere down along the line
I guess that love became a crime
This contradiction makes no sense.
This is punishment.
I feel like this is judgement day
I'll raise my hands, stand up and say
I don't believe I'm innocent
This is punishment.
You'll never feel all the things I can't say
And I'll never know if it's better this way.
-SheDaisy
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Crazy Horoscopes
No, I don't put my faith in the stars, but I think that this still perfectly states my views of love. And I know it's cheesy, but my mom found this in the back of one of her romance novels and felt compelled to share, since I am a Libra.
The setting is perfect for romance. Your eyes sweep across the ballroom sparkling with chandeliers and just-poured champagne. Dialogue swirls around you as effervescent as the setting. You finally spot your handsome, dashing hero talking to the ambassador...
If you're an air sign, this scenario speaks to your romantic heart. Your fantasy may not be as extravagant as fancy dressed balls, but if a prospective hero can't blend with your friends or help you explore new social horizons, then you won't cast him in a lead role.
The social mix does change, however, depending on your sign. Librans fill their guest lists with people from the cultural world. Your element may be air, but that doesn't mean you are "air-headed" when it comes to romance. Just the opposite is true; air signs place the intellect and the world of ideas above all other concerns. Bright and stimulating conversation ranks high on your list of attractive qualities in a man.
Alone with your beloved, good communication is more important than any other demonstrations of affection. Let others sigh deeply and gaze soulfully into their beloved's eyes, or shower them with rose petals. You'd rather be with a hero who can articulate his feelings.
Paradoxically, you are often drawn enigmatic types. This is because your own constantly-active mind loves a puzzle. A potential hero who is a bit complicated intrigues you. You always assume that if you apply your intellect, you can figure him out. And if he can match wits with you, and even top you now and then, you're likely to stay fascinated for life.
If you're like most air romantics, you are far too restless in youth to settle down too quickly. And as much as you need companionship, your standards are very high. You believe in an ideal mate -- which may be hard to come by in imperfect, real life.
But when you stop focusing too much on the ideals of romance, you can fashion the kind of relationship other people envy-- one with excellent communication played out against the backdrop of a glittering social life. Some might say the setting and plot can overshadow the inner workings. That's okay with you-- you're probably already planning your next ball.
......................................
The setting is perfect for romance. Your eyes sweep across the ballroom sparkling with chandeliers and just-poured champagne. Dialogue swirls around you as effervescent as the setting. You finally spot your handsome, dashing hero talking to the ambassador...
If you're an air sign, this scenario speaks to your romantic heart. Your fantasy may not be as extravagant as fancy dressed balls, but if a prospective hero can't blend with your friends or help you explore new social horizons, then you won't cast him in a lead role.
The social mix does change, however, depending on your sign. Librans fill their guest lists with people from the cultural world. Your element may be air, but that doesn't mean you are "air-headed" when it comes to romance. Just the opposite is true; air signs place the intellect and the world of ideas above all other concerns. Bright and stimulating conversation ranks high on your list of attractive qualities in a man.
Alone with your beloved, good communication is more important than any other demonstrations of affection. Let others sigh deeply and gaze soulfully into their beloved's eyes, or shower them with rose petals. You'd rather be with a hero who can articulate his feelings.
Paradoxically, you are often drawn enigmatic types. This is because your own constantly-active mind loves a puzzle. A potential hero who is a bit complicated intrigues you. You always assume that if you apply your intellect, you can figure him out. And if he can match wits with you, and even top you now and then, you're likely to stay fascinated for life.
If you're like most air romantics, you are far too restless in youth to settle down too quickly. And as much as you need companionship, your standards are very high. You believe in an ideal mate -- which may be hard to come by in imperfect, real life.
But when you stop focusing too much on the ideals of romance, you can fashion the kind of relationship other people envy-- one with excellent communication played out against the backdrop of a glittering social life. Some might say the setting and plot can overshadow the inner workings. That's okay with you-- you're probably already planning your next ball.
A Toast to Friends
I happen to be right about God's incredible talent of filling those gaps that I mentioned in my last blog. I attended several Elevation meetings with the office staff yesterday morning. It was a difficult goodbye followed by a three hour drive home listening to my "Driving" playlist on iTunes, thinking about the lengthy and tiring summer full of intense blessings and cursing discouragements.
Hello hugs from my parents were wonderful, but it was different from every other time that I have come home. I had not been home in over a month, but I had spoken with one of them nearly every day on the cell phone. I had missed them, but I had also been majorly busy, focusing my energy on other emotions and activities. I knew that they were proud of me, the decisions I have been making, and the changes within and without myself, so there was a peace in that distance, making ours a more grown-up homecoming.
Last night, I had my best friends (Paul, Corey, Ben, Neal, Tim, Melissa, and Lauryn) over for a party where we did shots of Coca-Cola and had a singing, guitar/piano-playing extravaganza. We have the best times together. Suddenly I realized how deeply I had missed having unconditional friends. My heart bursts with love for them and several other close friends who weren't present. I pray that they feel how truly I adore them.
Missing people whom I love had become part of my life for the past few months. I had forgotten what it was like to have them right next to me -- feeling their voices instead of merely hearing them through the phone, laughing simply to hear ourselves laugh, smiling with them in silence of good thoughts, praying with them in a happy and real way.
And tonight... this blessing that one might call "once-in-a-lifetime", somehow comes once again, as always, in the most peculiar times and strategic places.
Hello hugs from my parents were wonderful, but it was different from every other time that I have come home. I had not been home in over a month, but I had spoken with one of them nearly every day on the cell phone. I had missed them, but I had also been majorly busy, focusing my energy on other emotions and activities. I knew that they were proud of me, the decisions I have been making, and the changes within and without myself, so there was a peace in that distance, making ours a more grown-up homecoming.
Last night, I had my best friends (Paul, Corey, Ben, Neal, Tim, Melissa, and Lauryn) over for a party where we did shots of Coca-Cola and had a singing, guitar/piano-playing extravaganza. We have the best times together. Suddenly I realized how deeply I had missed having unconditional friends. My heart bursts with love for them and several other close friends who weren't present. I pray that they feel how truly I adore them.
Missing people whom I love had become part of my life for the past few months. I had forgotten what it was like to have them right next to me -- feeling their voices instead of merely hearing them through the phone, laughing simply to hear ourselves laugh, smiling with them in silence of good thoughts, praying with them in a happy and real way.
And tonight... this blessing that one might call "once-in-a-lifetime", somehow comes once again, as always, in the most peculiar times and strategic places.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Leaving Monroe
Today was my last full Sunday at Elevation (for a long while, anyways). Tonight is the last night that I will spend in the Dinkins' house. In some ways, I am ready to leave, but in others, I could stay here in Charlotte forever.
No more sleeping on a futon without sheets.
No more carpet. (Neither my home, nor NGU have carpet.)
No more barking dogs.
No more high-cal, high-fat, fast food and non-perishables. Back to my good diet!
No more 30 minute drives to work everyday.
No more random workouts. Back to regular exercise!
No more airconditioning-less nights in a bonus room.
But.....
No more children. College doesn't include juveniles.
No more beautiful Monroe, NC.
No more Levi.
No more bright orange offices.
No more office staff.
No more paychecks.
No more being far from home.
No more having my own room.
No more summer.
No more live Elevation Worship Band.
No more live Pastor Furtick sermons.
No more smiling Elevation volunteer faces.
My heart knows that God is not a God of gaps. He will fill the areas I leave in Charlotte with something better that He has prepared me for throught this experience. It has been priceless, to an extent that I cannot yet comprehend, therefore will elaborate upon at a later time. For now, however, I must pack the remnants of memories and photographs, mix them with personal necessities, and drag them with my heart on a three hour drive back home.
No more sleeping on a futon without sheets.
No more carpet. (Neither my home, nor NGU have carpet.)
No more barking dogs.
No more high-cal, high-fat, fast food and non-perishables. Back to my good diet!
No more 30 minute drives to work everyday.
No more random workouts. Back to regular exercise!
No more airconditioning-less nights in a bonus room.
But.....
No more children. College doesn't include juveniles.
No more beautiful Monroe, NC.
No more Levi.
No more bright orange offices.
No more office staff.
No more paychecks.
No more being far from home.
No more having my own room.
No more summer.
No more live Elevation Worship Band.
No more live Pastor Furtick sermons.
No more smiling Elevation volunteer faces.
My heart knows that God is not a God of gaps. He will fill the areas I leave in Charlotte with something better that He has prepared me for throught this experience. It has been priceless, to an extent that I cannot yet comprehend, therefore will elaborate upon at a later time. For now, however, I must pack the remnants of memories and photographs, mix them with personal necessities, and drag them with my heart on a three hour drive back home.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)