Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Finish Line

I didn't make it.

In my post called "Facebook Fast," I explained that I would not be on Facebook for an entire week. It was planned to be from last Wednesday night until tomorrow (Wednesday) night.

I didn't make it.

I lost my cell phone on Sunday morning. My suitemates were gone. I had been alone most of the weekend. I never thought I could feel so alone-- not really "alone", just deprived of communication.

Without my cell phone, I had no alarm, but I woke early Monday morning in a cold sweat from a nightmare. I realized no one was there, and I had no way to contact anyone. I thought of Jesus, not really a prayer, but a semi-conscious awareness of his presence. Forgive my brief humanity, but He seemed not enough. I was still partially asleep as I sat straight up, pulled my laptop to me, and clicked the link to Facebook in a desperate attempt to have a connection outside my empty dorm.

I didn't make it.

One week was all that was required. However, I had forgotten how quiet and lonely weekends on campus are. And now, I realize, I had forgotten how important community and communication are, even communication that isn't face-to-face. I was starved of people.

Later, I realized the repercussions of my impulsive action -- not keeping my word to myself or my friends was wrong -- but I still learned. The issue wasn't that Jesus wasn't enough that morning. He is always enough. The issue was what he was trying to teach me. We NEED each other. I don't need Facebook. I don't need a cell phone. But I do need people. My closest friends, my good friends, my distant friends, my acquaintances, and even people I haven't met -- I need all of them, because God placed them there for His purposes.

I also learned that sometimes we give up too quickly. I only had two days left to keep my word, but I couldn't see the finish line. Similarly, school is so demanding right now. There are more assignments than I could possibly make time to do as well as I would like. Thanksgiving Break is a week away, and Christmas Break is a week after that. I'm so close to finishing, but I feel like I should have a break and a rest right now. I will never get the momentum back up for myself with so little time left. All motivation for the remaining two weeks of classes will come from Christ alone. After I sprint through the ribbon at the end, I'll be proud of Him. Not myself. I fail. I am needy. I am weak. I sometimes don't keep my promises.

I didn't make it.
But He does.

1 comment:

K9 said...

So I know this is long, but I thought that it was very relevant to this post and it was also amazing and very encouraging to me. And its Elisabeth Elliot so its gonna be awesome!


Title: The Unseen Company

Author: Elisabeth Elliot

Many of us belong to churches where a creed is often repeated by the congregation. Several of the ancient creeds include these words, "I believe in the communion of saints." For some the word saints means only certain specially holy people who have been officially designated as such. For others it means those who are now in heaven. The Bible is very matter-of-fact in showing that those who belong to Christ, i.e., Christians, are saints. Look at Acts 9:32 and 41 for a start. Then note the salutations in Romans 1:7, 1 Corinthians 1:2, and other places.

Do you ever think much about that communion? Do you actually believe in it? I'm learning. The communion of saints takes no notice of location. Here or on the other side of the world or in heaven, all who love the Lord are included, bound together as a body whose Head is Christ. The gallery of heroes of the faith in Hebrews 11 comprises not only those who achieved thrilling victories through faith, but also the destitute and persecuted, those who were tortured, flogged, imprisoned, and even sawn in two--people whom the world would never deem worthy, yet the Bible says the world was not worthy of them! And here's something worth pausing over: all were "commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us, so that only together with us would they be made perfect" (vv. 39-40).

When I pray I am often preoccupied and distracted, aware that my efforts are feeble and seemingly quite useless, but the thought that those distinguished heroes are to be perfected along with me (and with the writer of Hebrews, and with you and all the rest of the followers of the Lamb) changes the picture altogether and puts new heart into me. Grand and mysterious things are in operation. We are not alone. My prayers are perhaps a single note in a symphony, but a necessary note, for I believe in the communion of saints. We need each other. The prayers of one affect all. The obedience of one matters infinitely and forever.

We are told that we are "surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1, KJV)--those who found in Christ "their Rock, their Fortress, and their Might, their Captain in the well-fought fight" (to borrow the words of an old hymn), and "in the darkness drear their one true Light--Alleluia" (W.W. How: "For All the Saints").

When newly married and living in a little palm-thatched house in the jungle, Jim Elliot and I remembered that even in so remote a place we were still gathered in that great communion, and we used often to sing John Ellerton's hymn, "The Day Thou Gavest, Lord, Is Ended." (Lars and I sometimes sing it now.) My favorite stanzas:

We thank Thee that Thy Church, unsleeping,
While earth rolls onward into light,
Through all the world her watch is keeping,
And rests not now by day or night.

As o'er each continent and island
The dawn brings on another day,
The voice of prayer is never silent,
Nor die the strains of praise away.

Maybe there is a reader who is very weak and very lonely as he reads this today, tempted to feel that prayer is futile and goes nowhere. Think of the great Unseen Company that watches and prays as we "run with perseverance the race marked out for us"(Hebrews 12:1, NIV)! Think of that and be of good cheer--it's much too soon to quit!